Updated: Nov 15, 2021
It is not easy for me to tell everything, but it's time to open up and get to know my story. It was hard and I had a lot of stones under my feet, but I am here creating for you.
A shortcut from my life, I would love to inspire or at least give you hope for a better tomorrow. I have learned to live without fear - now it's time for you.
I come from the house of an alcoholic who abused the family. I often sleep on the staircase next to the door of my house because my father after the brawl either threw us out or we ran away out of fear that he would do something to us. I grew up under stress and eternal fear. My father landed in prison for bullying his family and after being released from prison he was forced to find his own accommodation. Because his alcohol addiction was so strong, he died when I was 12. But for a few more years I saw him on the street and I run away in fear that he will see me. When I was 16, I gave birth to my wonderful daughter, her father was my friend from the school bench. Young and stupid we tried to learn to live, but he went into a very bad environment, he became aggressive. With the second child (son), I was kicked in the belly while pregnant and then, after giving birth, an attack and shattered ribs and nose. Known unknown story! . I got a divorce in 2002. Despite the fact that my professional career was good, even for a woman at that time, I was renting a flat and running a company, and creating training courses for young installers of water systems. When the tax crisis broke, as a single mother, I could not afford such a financial lost. I had to make a difficult decision. With 50 euro in my pocket, I set off into the world. The children of the 12 daughter and son 5 years old, were under the care of their grandmothers, and I set off to find a better life for myself and my children. This is how I came to Ireland in 2005. Here I found a job and my first home without fear for children. I did not expect that it is in this country that I will find true love, family warmth and return to my passion. This is where I started to live and believe that I have the right to be loved. Of course also , it's a difficult time after the birth of my youngest son, postpartum depression - a shock that someone is taking care of me that I don't have to fight. I had to learn to trust that I could be loved. When I got sick and I couldn't work physically and my youngest was about 4 years old. After the surgery and slow recovery, I decided to take up art seriously. So to show that it makes us feel better, see more and open up other possibilities.
My uncertainty and lack of self-confidence show in my first pictures, fear and struggle. I am an eternal seeker on a journey and I call it art today and once it was an escape. Slowly but surely, I spread my wings and learn to share my art, myself and my story.
Finish it like this today, maybe someday I will write more details, but today it is so much.
I greet and send you love